It’s not uncommon to hear it said, “no, is a good word. It should be used more often.”
Why then, do we still find ourselves in a place of overwhelm and bombarded schedules? Or, why do people find themselves in situations and wonder why?
Apparently, we know we should say “no”, but we aren’t that great at actually doing it.
For the most part, I have gotten much better at stepping back and assessing things before I add another project to my plate. Just typing this makes me smile! It’s nice to know that some amount of wisdom has taken root in the many, many years I’ve been on this earth. I believe God is smiling with me!
Being comfortable using the word “no” is crucial for more reasons than just keeping you out of the stress of an overloaded schedule. Some other reasons for using the word “no”:
- when someone is invading your personal space.
- when someone comes at you physically.
- when someone comes at you emotionally.
- when someone is making an unreasonable request.
- when someone has overstepped their bounds way too many times.
- when someone wants your dessert….
There are lots of very good reasons that require you to say “no” without hesitation. I am not suggesting that “no” should be your go to response, but rather, that you are comfortable enough to use this boundary setting word when it is needed.
Getting to a place of saying “no” to projects or “no more” to out of control situations may not be easy. It’s like anything else, seeking help and accountability will help you achieve success. What does this look like?
- Seek out a trusted friend, pastor, professional and share your situation
- Listen to what they see and hear in your thinking/plans
- Have them help you role play
- Be prepared to support your “no” – if you can’t stick to it, then you probably don’t want to say it
- Stay accountable by reporting your progress to your trusted source
- Above all, cover every step you are contemplating and that you actually take in prayer
This very brief blog post is not meant to over simplify whatever situation you may be in. It is intended to say that “no” is a very good and basic boundary setting word. And, without our being able to use it, we will have stress and complications that we just don’t need.
Establishing healthy boundaries is one of my very favorite areas to work on with professional women. If you would like to discuss boundaries in your life, please reach out. Email me here
I would love to hear where you have recently used the word “no” successfully or where you need to use it. Please respond in the comments below.