Mind - Heart signpost with sky background


Happy Valentine’s Day!

In this article, part 2 of the 4-part series on transform, we are talking about our inner conflicts. Specifically, why some inner conflicts just keep cropping up.

I wish we didn’t have to do that on this day that represents love. Because, I for one, can attest that when inner conflicts are in high gear, there isn’t much love to be found.

Perhaps it is a good thing that we are looking at this topic on this day.


Never Just One Thing

Women struggle with a broad number of inner conflicts. I talk about 11 of them in my new book releasing, February 27 on Amazon. My book is titled, “Choose to THRIVE: Conquering Your Inner Conflicts.”

Inner conflicts come in many forms. Depending on the conflict and how deep it runs, the path to elimination may be a long and winding road that has a lot of curves to maneuver. 

There are very few “overnight successes” when it comes to the struggles we carry internally.

In my personal experience, there generally isn’t one issue that stands alone. More often, it’s an entanglement of issues that have to get unraveled.

While this is true, there are some foundational practices that go a long way.

In my book, I talk about things like – the masks we wear, discontentment, self-sabotage and much more. These things can be brought on by many sources and they can rise up over and over again.

Personally, I fought the inner conflict of discontentment most of my adult life. So, why couldn’t I eliminate it? Why did it keep returning when I thought I had eliminated it?



In my case, I discovered multiple reasons that open the door for my conflicts to return. Let me give you just two:

1. Self-confidence – this one always amazes me. How is it that women who have so many successes can walk around with a pit of lacking self-confidence? Mind boggling.

I have always been a very performance based person. So, the little voices in my head would tell me the common messages, I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t know enough.

We’ve all heard them. It took me a very long time to learn that I didn’t have to believe them! And, not believing them, doesn’t mean just stuffing them.

Truth is, we all have voices in our heads on both sides of the isle; some are for us and some are against us. Which side will you choose to believe?

I learned that self-confidence builds through some very practical steps:
Practice. Whatever you want to be good at, requires you to do it; over and over again.
Learn. Don’t ever think you’ve arrived, keep learning. Read something every day that grows you.
Listen to truth; not lies. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (one of my fav’s!) tells us to take our thoughts captive to Christ.

I had a lightbulb moment with this verse. We don’t have to believe the junk! Give it to God and move on to what is true.


2. GratitudeI was a complainer. Sometimes it didn’t sound like complaining, but grumbling and pointing out all that’s wrong is complaining.

Complaining and having a thankful heart do not go together.  I might just add that putting a smile on doesn’t mean it isn’t complaining.

A lack of deep gratitude absolutely drives inner conflict.  Why?  Because we all long for peace and peace is a by-product of gratitude.

Gratitude sounds so easy. And, on first thought it is. Of course, I’m thankful for my family, job, home, etc. Easy things to say, but upon examination, my walk didn’t always match my talk.

Saying we are grateful does not make it so. Our actions portray reality.

Having a true heart of gratitude takes self-examination, owning our wrongs, being humble. 

And, it’s more than recognizing our blessings.  It’s the realization that we aren’t entitled to them.

Our blessings are a gift for our Lord and Savior.   Let us thank the One who deserves our thanks.

Let us thank the One who deserves our thanks. Click To Tweet

For gratitude, to be real, it must reside within your heart. It takes coming to the end of yourself. It requires the deep awareness that you alone aren’t the answer.


Attitude and Mindset

No two people are exactly alike, but in my experience, just these couple of areas, self-confidence, and gratitude are 2 common culprits to inner conflicts staying alive and well or constantly returning.

The thing about the two items above is their direct impact on your attitude and your mindset.

Both suffer when my self-confidence is lacking and when I forget all that I have to be thankful for.

Next week, we will look at ways to build a transformative foundation. A foundation that stops those inner conflicts.


ARE YOU READY?  Ready to Transform Conflicts?

Say, “YES!”  Stop the battle and get on board with God’s plan for your life. 

Did you know?  God created you with a SPECIFIC IMPACT plan!  He knew why you needed the natural skills and abilities he gave you.

He uses every experience you have had in your life for the SPECIFIC IMPACT he designed you for.

One Life to THRIVE hosts retreats and offers a community for women who lead.  Speaking from personal experience, women who lead deal with lots of inner conflicts.

Your IMPACT is not what God intended when inner conflicts are alive and well.

Your IMPACT is not what God intended when inner conflicts are alive and well. Click To Tweet

May 4-7, 2017
at the “One Thing Leads to Another” retreat in the beautiful foothills of the Rocky Mountains, you can unplug and get real. 

You will CONNECT with yourself, God and other like-minded women. 

You will TRANSFORM those inner conflicts. 

You will step into the IMPACT God created and designed you for.


Get all the details at OneLifetoTHRIVE.org

Want to talk live?  GREAT!  Contact me here.  I am happy to chat with you, your leadership team or group.  Space is limited, don’t delay!


Step into the IMPACT you were
created and designed for!









Debbie Luxton

Receive Debbie's Periodic Newsletter

and the resources Pathways to Authentic Forgiveness and Discovering Life Purpose by signing up today!

Great, you are all signed up. Check your email for a message from debbie@debbieluxton.com to access your resources. Thank you!