Being our authentic selves generates fear; especially for women who lead. It is not, however, easily recognized.
The fear is masked through things we tell ourselves like:
- I’m the one everybody looks up to so, I can’t be myself!
- I have to earn people’s respect (pretending to be someone you aren’t).
- I have to be perfect.
Statements like these cause us to be less than who we truly are. Ironically, we tell ourselves these things trying to be more than who we are.
There’s a Plan at Work
God grows you as He continually molds and perfects you in the likeness of Jesus.
For women who lead, it can be really hard to accept God’s plan of perfection and, even more so, God’s timing.
We don’t wait well (“seriously Lord, when am I going to __________ “(fill in the blank))
we overrate our need to be involved (He really doesn’t need our help!)
Situations Sparking Fear are Good
The problem isn’t the situations themselves. The problem is in not being comfortable with yourself in those situations.
You are looked up to every day and you have many people counting on you. Likewise, your leadership depends on earning the respect of others.
The fear these statements can drive needs to become the fuel for taking your authenticity seriously.Trying to be some perfect version of yourself helps no one. Click To Tweet
Eliminate Your Fears
- Know what your fears look and sound like – the messages you tell yourself and behaviors that are clear indicators.
- Stop and acknowledge the message or behavior. Don’t ignore it or worse yet, accept it.
- Spend time with Jesus. Ask Him:
- to reveal your fears for what they are
- to help you turn these fears over to Him
- to help you be your authentic self
- Keep things in truth-based perspective. Otherwise, the committee in your head will take over!
You Can Do It!
I’ve dealt with TONS of fear in my life. In my case, more often than not, it was absolutely self-imposed. I could see this when I got to the root of it.
I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist.
If that isn’t bad enough, I am also a card-carrying member of the “women who need to control” society.
These 2 issues are plenty to drive self-imposed fears (and loss of authenticity) through the roof.
I’ve come a very long way and so can you!
You Are Not Alone
I’ve worked with many women who have a tough time getting over the things that rob them of being authentic.
It really is very common.
If you struggle with authenticity I would love to work with you.
Being less than authentic has ripple effects:
- feeling like an imposter
- heaping guilt on yourself
- allowing inauthentic relationships in your life
- trying to fool yourself and others