Our physical and emotional states can impact our ability to communicate with Jesus at the center. It’s not that our desire isn’t there. Most of us desire to honor Jesus in our conversations. Even so, it’s important to be aware when we are most likely to be triggered.
When we are triggered, we tend to react. Reacting often causes our words too come out of our mouths in a way would we rather not have said it:
- our tone may be too rough,
- our words may not be kind,
- our hearts may not be centered on communicating with love.
Responding, rather than reacting, more likely comes from a place of maturity. Maturity comes to us many ways. Certainly, one of those ways is staying aware of ourselves, particularly what makes us say and do things we would rather not.
The acronym H.E.A.R.T. helps to remind us we are not at our best when we are:
Hurting
Exhausted
Angry
Resentful
Tired
Cultivating the Lordship of Jesus in our conversations will be enhanced when we remember that, no matter our best intentions, the enemy attacks when we aren’t at our physical or emotional best.
After all, satan wants to destroy our relationships. And he certainly doesn’t want to see us build new ones. Therefore, keeping the above conditions at a high awareness is beneficial to represent Jesus in our conversations as our hearts desire.
Post a guard at my mouth, God, set a watch at the door of my lips.
Don’t let me so much as dream of evil or thoughtlessly fall into bad company.
And these people who only do wrong— don’t let them lure me with their sweet talk!
May the Just One set me straight, may the Kind One correct me,Psalm 141 – The Message
Communicating in a H.E.A.R.T. state cannot always be avoided. Although it can be tough, it also does not have to be avoided. Here are some tips to help our communications honor God even in one of the H.E.A.R.T. states:
- Let the other person know what’s going on with you.
- If you mess up – own it. Make your amends and learn from it.
- Do your best to take quiet time and pray over your day ahead.
- Reflect at the end of the day and take note if you were triggered and why.
⏸ Pause to Pray, Ponder, & Journal
- Describe a time when you were in a H.E.A.R.T. state and communications did not go as you wanted.
- What did God teach you in the situation you described?
- What would you add to the above list to keep Jesus at the center of conversations when you are Hungry, Exhausted, Angry, Resentful, or Tired?
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Coach Deb is a certified Gospel-centered Enneagram Coach, a certified Christian Leadership Coach, an author, founder and host of the private online community Influence Multiplied, and the host of intimate (6-8 ladies) women’s retreats.
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