As summer comes to an end, perfectionism can run even higher than it does at other times for high-achieving women.
Kids are back in school and so, there’s a whole new set of activities to care for.
We talked about tips for distressing the back to school season in the last two articles. You might want to revisit those: Destress for Kids and Destress for Moms
Let’s talk about perfectionism because it can be a constant battle for some of us. Even when we get real and recognize those tendencies, for me, when my kids were in school it really kicked into full swing.
Comparing myself to other moms was huge. I felt bad because I worked a corporate job and other moms stayed at home or worked from home. I often didn’t have the flexibility that I saw other moms have in their schedules.
Looking back, instead of beating myself up, I wish I had built better relationships. I wish I had seen the blessings of asking for help and giving it where I could.
There’s no shame is working, but I allowed my perfectionist ways guilt me.
Give yourself grace
Your plate is really full and it’s absolutely okay if the laundry doesn’t get done when you like to have it done. It’s okay if your plans had to change because unforeseen things came into play.
Let passion be what fuels you; not the need to have everything done a certain way or at a certain time.
Decide what matters to you
It’s a new schedule, new activities and new relationships when the kids return to school. So, what do you care most about?
Is it making sure you sit with the kids while they do their homework or reviewing their homework once it’s done? Is it having a meaningful conversation where you look one another in the eye or is it talking while fixing and cleaning up dinner?
Think about it and figure it out. Once you know, make it a priority.
But, realize, this isn’t about perfection. This is about quality and adding value to your life and to the lives of those you care the most about.
Invoke strategies to keep the lie of trying to be perfect from taking you down. Click To Tweet
Be realistic
It is an impossible goal to be perfect. It won’t happen so, you must invoke strategies to keep the lie of trying to be perfect from taking you down.
If things don’t go as planned, like dinner got burned and had to be thrown out, it’s not the end of the world.
Don’t let things that really don’t matter ruin your attitude and thus, ruin the day or evening for everyone else. Lighten up and laugh about things.
Believe me when I say that I know this can be much easier said than done. To this day, I have to remind myself to lighten up. I can easily get in a place where I take things way too seriously – perfectionism run amuck!
I talk a lot about core values
When you know your core values, you know whether or not you are making decisions in alignment with them.
When you make decisions that support what you value most, you will be content and you won’t be chasing after something that isn’t attainable. “Something” as in trying to build a perfect life.
[stextbox id=”custom” bwidth=”3″ color=”FAFEFF” bcolor=”8C6727″ bgcolor=”50C7C3″ bgcolorto=”50C7C3″]The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” ~ Luke 10:41-42 (MSG)[/stextbox]
What does perfectionism look like?
It can be hard to spot within yourself. You may think, “I just want to do a good job.” However, you are spending precious family time working. Or, you work instead of caring for yourself.
You may want to look good, but you spend more hours at the gym or working out than anyone else you know.
You may deal with anxiety when things aren’t the way you think they should be.
You may constantly judge what others do or try to control things so they are done to your standards.
You may find yourself in tears because you forgot to buy the pink shoes to go with the pink dress for school pictures.
These are just a few examples where perfectionism may be your culprit.
Perfectionism is a REAL problem and
MOST high-achieving women struggle with it.
Problem is, it will beat you up and eat you alive.
Contact me today.
Let’s discuss how life coaching can help you tame your need to be perfect.
